Fun with bible quotes

June 27th, 2007 Chris Posted in Uncategorized |

First, the amusing and disturbing:

Ezekiel 23: 21:
“(She) lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose emission was like that of stallions.”

Kinky.

Isaiah 16:11
Wherefore my bowels shall sound like a harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kirharesh.

Flatulent.

Psalms 137:9
“Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones Against the rock.”

Advocating infanticide - classy.

Jeremiah 25:27
“This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: Drink, get drunk and vomit, and fall to rise no more”

God even loves the fratboys.

And then there are the verses that no one seems to remember these days:

Leviticus 20:9
If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death.

Well, that seems fair.

Deuteronomy 22:20-1
If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death.

Don’t Christians regularly condemn Muslims for this sort of thing?

Exodus 35:2
For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death.

Shomer Shabbas!

Leviticus 11:10
And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you. They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh

Clearly, god hates shrimp.

Oh, but that part about fags? That’s the literal true word of god and must be obeyed.