This or That Tuesday


1. Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck? Bugs. Daffy needs to learn to say it, not spray it.

2. Tom or Jerry? Jerry

3. Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck? Donald Duck. Mickey is a whiny bitch. Admittedly, Donald is a little-bit passive-agressive, but at least he stands up for himself.

4. Rocky & Bullwinkle or Boris & Natasha? R & B. Any graduate of Whatsamatta U. is okay by me.

5. Road Runner or Wile E. Coyote?

I've had this discussion at great lengths, believe it or not. (I always use it as an icebreaker during rush.) Personally, I love Wile E. He's just a misunderstood genius with an incredible streak of bad luck. (Either that, or ACME keeps shipping him defective products. He should really look into a class-action lawsuit...) What did Roadrunner have anyway? He was fast. Whoop-de-freakin-doo. Anyone can run. It takes real creativity and perseverance to outsmart your opponents. I'll take the path of the coyote any day.

6. Sylvester or Tweety? Not a huge fan of either, but c'mon - Tweety is just fucking obnoxious. I hate that completely fake cute/innocent act he puts on, when underneath he knows what's up. He's so full of shit...

7. Popeye or Bluto? Though Popeye's nearly-unintelligible speech loses him some points, Bluto's macho arrogance is worse.

8. South Park or The Simpsons? The Simpsons. This should be the obvious answer for anyone who has outgrown the bathroom humor stage. As you can tell, I'm not a big fan of South Park episodes. The one exception to this is the South Park movie, which is pure genius. It's got intelligent points to make about censorship and they made the entire thing into a musical. I've got just 5 words for you_ "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" How freaking hilarious is that?

9. Jetsons or Flintstones? Not a big fan of either of these, but I'll give the edge to the Flinstones for one reason_ The device of dinosaurs as appliances is much funnier than robot maids. How can you not laugh at the little garbage-disposal warthog guy under the sink?

10. And finally, the eternal question asked by all good Scooby-Doo fans_ Velma or Daphne? Although Daphne is hot, she's dumb as a brick. I mean, c'mon - could you ever really date a girl who's IQ lies somewhere between that of a toaster and a toaster oven? Smart chicks turn me on. To quote a friend_ "I only make passes at girls who wear glasses."

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