A few of The 86 Rules of Boozing:
- If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
- Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.
- It's okay to drink alone.
- If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
- If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
- Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered and they're sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and either way you're going to come off as a jackass.
- The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar.