Words to Live By

A few of The 86 Rules of Boozing:

  • If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
  • Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.
  • It's okay to drink alone.
  • If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
  • If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
  • Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered and they're sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and either way you're going to come off as a jackass.
  • The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar.


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