Who are you?
Chris Miller. Normally I’d be worried about maintaining my anonymity, but 1) Chris Miller is a pretty damn common name, and 2) my URL sort of gives it away.
What do you want?
Happiness. Not a constant and perpetual state of happiness, because that would just be boring. But beneath the ups and downs that make life interesting, I want there to be a sense of contentment with my current situation, peace with my past decisions, and hope for my future.
How will it end?
The end is nothingness - a one-way descent into the void of unconsciousness.
What’s it all about, though, when you get right down to it - I mean, really?
Sex, Drugs, and Rock ‘n Roll. Oh, and those little prizes you find in your cereal box - never underestimate those.
What do you ‘do’?
I exist. I’ll leave it up to the philosphers to determine whether that’s a suspended state of being or a frenetic cacophony of motion. I try to have it both ways - I stay busy, but like to make time to sit on the porch, have a few beers, shoot the shit, and watch the world go by.
Who would you most like to commission a statue of?
I see a monolithic representation of myself towering over a city. Nude.
Okay, maybe not. I’ve never been big on hero-worship, or celebrity fawning. Any sculpture I commissioned would represent something more abstract.
Right now, what is your favourite: film, colour, record, book, TV show, comic, magazine, stone, tree, animal and item of clothing. Answers written in random order get extra points.
Socks, Petosky stones (look it up), X-men, the LOTR series, Green, High Fidelity, Ben Folds Five, TV blows, Salon.com (it’s an online mag), Ponderosa Pine
Name a hobby or pastime of yours that is respectable enough to put on a CV.
Creating interactive websites where the user creates the content.
Name any non-respectable hobbies or pastimes of yours (optional).
Drinking games, and all that goes on during them (and after).
Which words or sayings do you overuse? Stop it.
I asked my girlfriend for help with this one: “yes?” “ya think?” “technical difficulties”
What should we buy you if we’re going to the corner shop?
Milk and Cookies. I’m low maintenance.
How do you take your tea/coffee?
To quote the Beastie Boys: “I like my sugar with coffee and cream”
What is your favourite eight letter word?
definite(ly). (so i cheated, sue me)
Have you got any words of advice for young people?
I’m still too young to be doing that.
And now the traditional ‘big question’: For reasons we won’t go into, a mysterious benefactor has permitted you to travel back in time. Which historical event do you chose to witness?
Armstrong walking on the moon. Preferably viewed from the moon.
What souvenir would you bring back with you (from any time zone)?
Green cheese of course
There are a lot of time travellers out there. In the course of your travels you overhear some people from our future talking about our present. What do they say?
“Mindless drones. The idiots believe everything that talking picture box feeds ‘em.”
On your return from the past you realise that a certain thing has not been invented - what is it, and would you go on to invent it yourself or leave well enough alone?
Windows would be gone, and I’d invent the worlds first user-friendly user-interface. A trillion dollars buys a lot of happiness, I hear - heh.
