End of school year haikus:

All work and no play
makes Chris a tired and dull boy
School can suck my ass.

Clothes cover my floor
Dishes overflow the sink
No time for cleaning

No sleep, just work for
more than thirty hours straight.
Projects are no fun

Sevilleta - Update I

I’m writing right now from a field station in Sevilla National Wildlife Refuge, about 30 miles south of Albequerque. It’s an area the size of Rhode Island that has largely been restored to pristine condition. It’s run by the NSF and is the site of a host of long term ecological projects, including everything from ecology to hydrology.

So what am I doing down here? I’m down here with one of my professors and several other students doing some field work. The specific project that I’m working on is looking for
Histoplasma capsulatum in kangaroo rat dens and in guano samples taken from a nearby cave.

After a tiring 18 hour drive to get here, we went straight out and set traps on Friday morning, then got settled in and crashed to sleep off the long drive. This morning, we got up before dawn so that we could get to the traps before the rats died of hypothermia. We had one hell of a catch too - we trapped 10 of the little critters, and identified seven active dens. That was really phenomenal success that exceeded all of our expectations. Over the next few days, we’ll be digging into a few burrows to take samples.

Besides our primary research, we’re doing a lot of exploring the area and learning a heck of a lot about desert ecology. Oh, and did I mention the three rattlesnakes I’ve already seen? (One of which I was probably about a foot away from stepping on? - Man, if you need a adrenaline rush…)

Dr. Jose Herrera is leading our little expedition, and he’s been coming down here for years and years, and so he really knows the area and the wildlife well. Dr. Scott Ellis, the division head, is a mammologist, and so he’s been helping us some of the animals we’ve encountered, though he’s probably learnign as much as we are from Herrera.

This is a shared computer at the field station, so I’m going to go ahead and post this now, so that other people can have a turn. I’ll try to find time tomorrow to jump back on, edit this post, and write some more about the first days down here. Until then, hope all is well, and I’ll let you know when I get the pictures up - it’s gorgeous out here where the mountains meet the desert.

Kerry Rally in STL

I was in town briefly on Friday night - I found out last minute that there was a debate-watch and Kerry rally downtown at the Convention Center downtown, so me and a few friends decided to drive in and check it out. It was kind of cool. I wasn’t blown away by Kerry’s speech - it was the usual campaign stump speech, complete with references to the local sports team’s playoff win (Go Cards!). I wasn’t expecting much more, though, and I was really impressed by the crowd - about 12,000 people out on a Friday night.

All in all, I’m glad I did it. I got a fun road trip with some bros, and got to see the next president of the United States speak. I’m not counting on Kerry winning Missouri, but who knows? With his debate performances, and the inevitable poll jumps, it just might happen!

I’ll post more of impressions of the rally later, along with some pictures. Right now, keeping my head above water in school is my top priority.

Oh, and if you ever decide to take Calc II - call me, and I’ll talk you out of it. Believe me - it’s for your own good.

Overload

Perhaps they’re telling me something: (you think too much.). Perhaps I should listen…

Current mood: Deep-Fried Neurons (with a side of stress)

{Update: October 6th - 3:11pm}
I slept for 14 hours last night, missing two classes in the process. I feel considerably better today, and I’ll make up the work when I can’t sleep tonight. Life is once again good (or tolerable, at least).

The State of My Union

For those who don’t know me personally, I’m a fifth year senior here at Truman, double majoring in Biology and Computer Science. Seeing as how this is my final year, I’m making all of the usual preparations for graduation and putting together plans for my post-Truman life.

Right now, the plan is to stay in academia for an indeterminate amount of time. I’m planning to go to grad school next fall, though where I will be is still up in the air. I’m looking to earn my PhD in Computational Biology or Bioinformatics, which should take about 5 years. After that, I think I’d like to become a professor and teach/mentor at a collegiate level.

I’m well aware that I could make a shit-ton more money by heading to the private sector, but something about that kind of work just leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I’d have no academic freedom to pursue interesting research. At a place like that, you pursue the company’s goals, and the bottom line drives all of your decisions. I hate working on things I don’t care about, and besides - selling out to the man is not my style.

There are lots of things I love about academia - one is the aforementioned freedom. Another is being surrounded by people who share my passion for the acquisition and dissemination of knowledge. I don’t ever want to live without that. I can’t stand mainstream culture and the opiate of the masses - television. College campuses are rife with social activism, inqusitive minds, and people who care
about more than which fictional characters are dating on ‘Friends’.

So it’s off to grad school I go! I’ve started preparations, like signing up to take the GRE and getting things together like letters of recommendation and transcripts. The next step, which I’ve been putting off forever, is doing some solid research on schools.

For my convenience, I’m using the bookmarks manager at del.icio.us to organize my stuff. It’s a social bookmarks manager, which means my links are viewable by anyone, so if you’re curious as to how the search is going, you can take a look at my list of grad school links at any time. So far, I’ve pulled out a list of schools that appear to programs compatible with what I’m looking for. The next step is to examine each school’s faculty research interests to see who I’d be interested in working under (I’ll post more on my specific interests in a later post).

I used to be dead-set on getting out of the midwest, but the more I look at schools, the more I realize that the programs there supersede any kind of geographic considerations. That’s not to say I’d pass up a great offer from a school in San Francisco, but it’s no longer as much of an issue. As long as I’m on a decent-sized campus in a decent-sized town, I’ll be happy. After all, if I’ve survived in Kirksville for this long, I’m pretty sure that I can be happy about anywhere.

Back in the USSR

Been away so long I hardly knew the place
Gee it’s good to be back home
Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case
Honey disconnect the phone
I’m back in the U.S.S.R.

err… Kirksville

Today was my last day in St. Louis, and in the morning I’ll be headed back to the ‘Ville. I’ve pretty much been a bum this week, staying up until 3am reading, and getting up at the crack of noon. I’d be lying if I said that it wasn’t nice, but I definitely neglected some of my to do list. Let’s review:

Things I’ve been woefully deficient in doing:

• Summer Research Paper Revisions
• Catching up with STL friends (Sorry all…)
• Working out

Things partially completed:

• Financial Aid SNAFU
• PSP Website Work
• Reviewing Calc I so I don’t fail Calc II

Things completed:

• Ummm… I slept a lot?

So as you can see, I’ve got some work to do this week, since school starts on Monday. Unfortunately, Freshman Week is the biggest party week of the year, which may reduce my productivity significantly, as is explained in the following First Law of College Productivity:

W = 1/Booze

Work is inversely proportional to the amount of alcohol consumed. Funny how that works…

So anyway, here’s to my final year in the ‘Ville. I grumble as much as anyone about schoolwork, but I wouldn’t trade life in academia for anything in the world. This year being my last at Truman, I’m going to make it count. More random road trips, more late nights with friends at the Shitty, more laying out to watch meteor showers.

Which brings me to the first law’s corrolary, the Second Law of College Prouctivity (which comes into play starting Monday):

C={H,P,S}
3 nCr 2

In colllege, there are three things you can do, Homework, Party, or Sleep, but in a given semester, you can only choose two of the three.

Let’s just say I usually don’t sleep much…

Slainte!

With the end of the year upon us, college students are filling the bars to capacity. Some of them are celebrating graduation, others are trying to wash away the bitter taste of finals. Either way, it’s never a bad idea to have a few toasts committed to memory. Here are some of my favorites:

There are several good reasons for drinking
and one has just entered my head.
If a man can’t drink when he’s living,
then how the hell can he drink
when he’s dead

Here’s to the perfect girl,
I couldn’t ask for more.
She’s deaf ‘n dumb, oversexed,
and owns a liquor store.

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
- Ernest Hemingway.

And finally, my favorite beer-related joke:

An Irishman, Englishman and Scottsman go into a pub
and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender
hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each
of the pints.

The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away
and demands another pint.

The Scottsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between
his fingers and shakes him while yelling, “Spit it out, ya bastard!
Spit it out!”

Good luck with your finals, all.

Join the Crusade

To: The Senior Portfolio Chair
From: Chris Miller

First of all, I wanted to convey my gratitude that your LAS portfolio site is well organized and easily accessible through Blackboard. Going digital made the assignment extremely simple to complete.

I have one criticism, though, which I realize is somewhat trivial. The “Critical Thinking Definitions” page is set in Comic Sans, which is a grave mistake. This childish font is appropriate for 6th birthday party invitations, but ultimately detracts from the impression of a serious document such as the one in question. You might want to consider reposting the document in a more professional looking format. .

Chris Miller
Concerned Truman Student

Ban Comic Sans.

Yes, I actually sent that email. They’ll never approve me for graduation now…

Ain’t it the Truth

As seen in several AIM profiles:

“Oh you hate school? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that, It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

Exam Time

50 Things to do During Finals

My favorites:

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

And the stunt I’m most likely to be found doing tomorrow:

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out “Fuck this!” and walk out triumphantly.

Sigh… Two finals left. Time to start preparing my heathen sacrifices. (that’s number 45…)

A Finals Week Tradition

Yes, you’ve all heard it before, but here it is one more time, for the hell of it.

Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds,
While visions of essays danced in their heads.

In my own apartment, I had been pacing,
And dreaded exams I soon would be facing.
My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books,
And my comments to him drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, and brewed a new pot,
No longer caring that my nerves were all shot.

I stared at my notes, but my thoughts they were muddy,
My eyes went a blur, I just couldn’t study.
“Some pizza might help,” I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.
I’d nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades had in school.

When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off ambled inside.
Her spirit was careless, her manner was mellow,
She wore a white toga, she started to bellow:
“What kind of student would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers what they tossed at us?”

“On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! On last year’s exams!
On Wingit and Slingit, and last minute crams!”
Her message delivered, she vanished from sight,
But we heard her laughing outside in the night.
“Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best.
Happy finals to all, and to all, a good test!”

Tis the Season

Exams are here
So let’s all cheer
Hooray for the holiday season;

If you lose all your friends
and your relationship ends
At least you’ll have a reason.

Thanks to Jen for the poem!

Another guy who understands: I

Another guy who understands:

I think I’ve reached the point in my inevitable world takeover where I’m ready to start that institution for smart kids. There needs to be a place for guys/gals like me who zoomed through high school without studying or breaking a sweat, then got to college and realized it’s just as easy. Then grew lethargic, bored, and finally said fuck it. Then when they come home everyone talks about ‘wasted potential’ when the truth is they’re still just as smart. They just don’t feel like going through the motions anymore. Six minutes before my Bio midterm, I guess I’ll open the book for the first time all semester, learn eight chapters worth of bolded terms, get a B, then drink away all that shitty knowledge an hour later.

By Gorilla Mask, guestposting on The Ward

Frustration

Man, I could have written half of what was said in this post (The Ward: 193,896 days)

I, too, am a former elementary school loser/high school choir nerd, stuck at a college that doesn’t offer what I want, and am frequently depressed about classes I don’t give a shit about…

Try this - I had to take Health and Fitness (aka Gym) in college… and to top it off I got a fucking B. It’s not that I’m not athletic - I just didn’t give a shit about listening to the baseball coach drone on about meaningless fucking health statistics…

Sigh, now it’s back to doing assembly language bullshit, and then I’ll write some more code that I have to explain to my Internet Programming teacher. He gave me a 70 on my last test because he didn’t understand how the code i wrote worked. It wasn’t until I copied it off the page, put it onto the server, and sent him the link that he believed me and gave me the points back. Oh well. It’s somewhat understandble that he’s skeptical, because I’ve skipped at least half of those classes so far. But what am I supposed to do, when he’s teaching HTML and CSS… sigh.

Which reminds me - I need to find some cheap web hosting space so that I can get off blogspot, set up MT and do some real design work. Put it (way down) on the to do list…

My Schedule

My Schedule

In case you care.

My Feelings Exactly

Attitude

Found this post on my old blog, posted back during my freshman year. It’s a pretty good representation of what my attitude has been like throughout college:

Things are going pretty well right now, as long as burnt out and sick of school can be considered “well”. This morning I got up for my health and fitness class, and realized that they had put me in the wrong section, swimmming, instead of nautilus. So I did what any rationally-thinking college student would do, and just went back to my room and went back to sleep. I’ll deal with this mess tomorrow…

Heh. The goal this semester is NOT to do this stuff. (We’ll see how long that lasts…)